I have some pre-order bonus ideas for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet

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Sometimes game companies miss the mark when it comes to pre-order bonuses. A recent example: the next Pokémon Scarlet and Violet Games.

To bring you up to speed, the Amazon Video Games Twitter account has announced that customers for the pre-order Pokémon Scarlet and Violet would receive a code for ten potions, ten antidotes, and three revives to use in the game.

Because the three items are easily obtained through the game, people pointed to them and laughed at them. They probably would have thrown tomatoes or even large rocks if that was an option.

These days, people expect a little something like a treat from pre-order games. What’s the point of doing anything if you don’t get a little treat? Especially when it comes to money? The good gamers of the world deserve a treat, I say!

Although this is a problem for Nintendo to fix, I thought I’d jump in with my pre-order bonus ideas that might be a better deal than easy-to-collect in-game items.

Please… For God’s sake… Take a look.

A living rat

Image: Ruby Innes/Kotaku Australia

Everyone wants a rat. I go to strangers on the street, I take a live rat out of my pocket and I say, “For you? and they always take the rat and thank me. Considering that there are many different colors of rats in Pokemonand I’m sure there will be 40 more in Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, it would make sense for a live rat to be a pre-order bonus for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet.

three bucks

Pokémon Scarlet and Violet pre-order bonuses
Image: Ruby Innes/Kotaku Australia

Alright, be honest. When did you not need three dollars? Sometimes, if you buy a washing machine, the people who made it will refund you some of the money. All you have to do is go to their website, fill out a form, call someone, give them all your personal information, go to an unknown place, meet an elf of business, get beat with a baseball bat by the business elf, pass out for 20 minutes, and the business elf will give you the cashback.

I forgot what I was looking for here, but I think a reasonable price of three dollars would be a good pre-order bonus for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet.

A sexy little peanut

I have some pre-order bonus ideas for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet
Image: Ruby Innes/Kotaku Australia

Go on. You know you want that sexy little weirdo. Everyone wants that sexy little nut. He poses, winks at you, and tells you secrets only a peanut would know. I think this would be a really good pre-order bonus for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet because there really isn’t enough representation of nuts in Pokemon as a whole, not to mention the portrayal of very sexy little peanuts like this little monster here.

Two live rats

Pokémon Scarlet and Violet pre-order bonuses
Image: Ruby Innes/Kotaku Australia

Listen to me. Of them rats are better than a rat. Thanks for listening.

I think it would be a great pre-order bonus if you were to buy both Pokémon Scarlet and Violet games instead of just one. The double pack should really contain two live rats instead of one, because what are you going to do with one rat and two games, you know what I mean? You know what I mean.

A human hand

I have some pre-order bonus ideas for Pokemon Scarlet and Violet
Image: Ruby Innes/Kotaku Australia

The game is so crazy. Sometimes you play so hard that one of your hands turns blue and numb, then it stops working. Luckily, if you were to get a human hand as a pre-order bonus for Pokémon Scarlet and Violet, you would be able to play your Pokemon game twice as long. It’s a great tool for any gamer, so I think people would really like it if Pokemon came up with one of them.

God

Pokémon Scarlet and Violet pre-order bonuses
Image: Ruby Innes/Kotaku Australia

Ǫ̸̢̡̫̹̩̘̺̫̱̥̭̈ Whÿ͘̚̚̕͠h̵̡̢̛̰̩͈͇̭͎̺͕̹̮̖̭͓̀̃̑͑̌̋̆̿͋͒͛͛̑̊̌̕͜͠ͅ ̶̶ webstices ̶̶ Why̿̑͐͑F̸̜̥̰͈̼̟̲̝̒̆͆̔̋͑̊̍̈ents̄̽ǘ̊̈̏ attacks̵̥̥̣̘̘̬̽̈ree͆̌̉̍̒nc̴̨³͛̄̉͠͠͝ͅK̷͈̺̬͖͉̗͖͍͉̥̲̟̋̅̋̂̍̎͌̒̾̽̆̈̊̎ ̸̢͍̠̘̹̼̜̻̬̼̙̖̩̙̫̫̘̹̯̪̰̖̬̖̯̳͋̊ents̆͒̊̈̔̉͌̓̾̾̚̚ͅǫ̷̸̨̨̢̭̮̝͓̩̠̪̻͕̥̳̫̭̰̗͈͍̠̘̹̼̜̻̬̼̙̖̩̙̫̫̘̹̯̪̰̖̬̖̯̳ents͐̀̉̈ER̍̈ER̀͋̊ERS̆͒̊̈̔̉͌̓̾̾̚̚ͅǫ̷̨̨̭̮̝͓̩̠̪̻͕̥̳̫̭̰̗͈ER̆͒̊̈̔̉͌̓̾̾̚̚ͅǫ̷̨̨̭̮̝͓̩̠̪̻͕̥̳̫̭̰̗͈ER͐̀̉̈ER̉̎̒̐̓̌ER̀H̴̛͚̣̫̖̳̦͈͒̐̐̀̐̈ER̈ ̶̨̩̉͌̾͑͌̊͂͐̈ERS̸̡̡̛̻͖̪̯̝̯͉͇̖̟̘̜̗̗̞̤̣̞̯̝̪͊̈̾̔ERS̸̡̡̛̻͖̪̯̝̯͉͇̖̟̘̜̗̗̞̤̣̞̯̝̪͊̈̾̔ERS̸̡̡̛̻͖̪̯̝̯͉͇̖̟̘̜̗̗̞̤̣̞̯̝̪͊̈̾̔ERͅNEͅH̸̸̨̢̨̢ERS͊̿̉̅̅̎̄ER͂͗̅̏͋͋̐̕͘̚͜͜ͅį̶̨̡̢̦̪̼͉̰̭͕̳͙̲̟͔͈̲̹̭͓̰͇̗͉̺͖͋̾T̶̢͙̻̭͇͂T̶̢͙̻̭͇͂T̶̢͙̻̭͇͂O ̵̵̛̛̰̭̰̭͐̾̋̃͐̾̋̃ó͘͝o̶̢͕͚̗̺̱̭͇͍͖͙̱̳̮̺̩̭̖͈̤̭̗͗͑̊͒͆͊͛͗͗̾̑͛͌̏̎̆̎͐̕͜͠ͅager ͖͙̱̳̮̺̩̭̖͈̤̭̗͗͑̊͒͆͊͛͗͗̾̑͛͌̏̎̆̎͐̕͜͠ͅh̵̝͚̙̺͔̰̫̺̣̽͊̑͆̆̋̿̿̌͛̓͊̅̓̈́̀̑̔̅̕͝ ̷̦͈́͗͐̐̊̃̓̿̐̍̈́́̈͊͆̚̕̚g̶̨̨̧͓̙̹͖͔̪̦̻̠̭͖̳̳͓̟̗͚̭̩̻̿͗̾͐̓̒̈́͐̓͋̎̔̂́̋͗̄̀͛͊̈́̈͜͠o̶̡̤͉̝̱̝͇͉̞̟͓͙̳̥̲̫̯̝̥̫̒̂͊͐̍̊̎̄̃̍̈̈́̽̀̚̚ͅd̴̛̟̦͎̳̯͂̈́̄͑̑͒͑̂̏͒͊̆̋̀͆͌̚̚͝ ̵̗̳̮̭̪̮͍͎͙͉̟̪̜̼̻̥̹͇̗͖̜̤̻̖̉̿̊̀͋̑̏͋ơ̴͉͍̓̐̽h̸̡̯̬͉̤̩̣̗̜̟͉͑̑́̑͆͌̋͊̍̀ ̸̡̯̬͉̤̩̣̗̜̟͉͑̑́̑͆͌̋͊̍̀̂̌̉̾̌ ̴̜̹͓̩̮̝̲̘͓̣̐̔͌́͑̽͂͐̆̋̈́́̀͊̄̌n̶̦̺͉͉̭̻͇̟̮̤͔̭͉̤̜̱͉̮͇̤̫̘͙͍̏̓͌̆͆N̶̦̺͉͉̭̻͇̟̮̤͔̭͉̤̜̱͉̮͇̤̫̘͙͍̏̓͌̆͆ ̵͂̂̈́́ ̡̢̢̡̢̢͖̦̖̜͎̼͈̟͇͖͎̠̖͙̖͚̺̬̰͙͚̮̻̜̭͖̦̖̜͎̼͈̟͇͖͎̠̖͙̖͚̺̬̰͙͚̮̻̜̭̍̈̊̈́̾̌̍̈̊̈́̾̌̀̆̂͆͂͝ͅͅƠ̷̢̨̨̢͙͇̳͔̞̱͕͔̤̘̣̠̹̫̫̳̝̼̹̅͌͂̄̅̀̓̽͐̈́h̿͆̃͌̐̿̈́͑̔̉̕͘͜͝͠͠͝h̸̡̧̢̞̳̖̖̰͙̱̰̭̻̻͇̙̱͓͍͇͊́̀̊̽͐̎̑̓̕͜͜ͅ ̶̡̨̣̞͕̝̮̤͓̝̙̖̗͕̩̼̣̲̱̗͈̗̞̠̍́͒͌̑̿f̷̺̻͓̻̗̞͍̗͉͖̘̖͓͚̮̟͍̞̯̳̏́̀̃͆͊̎́̈̈́̃̓̀̀͆̃Ù͒͌͘̕͘͝͝ͅU̵̢̡͚͍͙̫͕̻̓̓C̀C̶̨̢̱͔͉͉̤͉̺̭̤̻̦̦̫̣̞̎́͛͐̈́̆̈́͘͜͝͝ḱ̴̨͖̬̲̖̗͚̝̟̺̭̪̭̙̟̟̮̩͎̲͇̳̗̰̹̬̉̀͆̀͘͝ͅͅ ̶̱̉̒̌͝ö̶̧̞̙̮̟̻̣̤̪̭̺͉̦͓̣͙́͌͆̃͛̑̍̊̋̄̀̑͛̓̋̓͊̌͗́̆̕̕ḩ̷̡̹̲̠̞̻̝̱̝̘̱̗̞͇͚̻̗̝̪͖͙̲̱̯͖̯̠̱̜͍̅͊̔͂̎̿͋̀̑̚̚͝ ̴̞̦̮͉͓͓̫̺̯̟̻̻͕̬̥̞̹̣͍͍̽̾̋̌̋̅͊̽̌̓̾̀̀̓̑̈́̒͠s̵̛̘͕͖͇̓̔͐̂͐̉̃͛͗̓͒̔̽͋͋͛̕͝H̵̡̨̰̻̹̱̞̮̺͖̪̥̺̹̱̮̭͍̆̀͜i̴̛̩͉̣̞̹̟̱̤̬̘̳̦̫̱̙̗̭̟̰͗̿́͆̄̊͒̑t̷̢̟̜̺̠̻̰̹̞̺̙͓̮̘̯̞͍̺̳̟̺̯̳̊̀̓́̓̌̋̃͘̚͘͜͝t̷̢̟̜̺̠̻̰̹̞̺̙͓̮̘̯̞͍̺ ̳̟̺̯̳̊̀̓ Why̓̌̋̃͘̚͘͜͝o̸³̶̨̘̼͔̹̱͎̱̟̜̼̃͌̌̐ͅh̶̨̘̼͔̹̱͎̱̟̜̼̃͌̌̐ͅ ̸̻̣͚̃͛̈ Why͑ents̒̏̓̐̕͜͝F̷̷̡̢̨̨̡̢̨̨̛̛̭̞̗̰̹̙͍̫̮̲̺͖̺͎̦̱͚̭̼̫̘̟̞͕̭̞̗̰̹̙͍̫̮̲̺͖̺͎̦̱͚̭̼̫̘̟̞͕̈͆̈͂͌̿̆̐̈encus̿̒̌̒̆̈͆̈͂͌̿̆̐̈ner̿̒̌̒̆̈e̋̋̅͗̓k̴̨̨̭͕͚̹̜̝̱̣̩͕̪̠͔̮̱͓̮̳̹̲̪̬̺̼̉͊ents͒͗͑̏͛̏ER͂̈ERS̕̕̕͜͜ͅͅER͂̆̒͛̓̈ ̵̛͙͊͒ERSO̴̥͙̩͚͎͙̘̠̝̺̭͔̩̤̟̗̹̫̠̱͕̅͑̆̀͗͜͝H̶̡̛̖͚̣̫̮͇̮̲͚̦͚̭̤̼̐̈̐͂̆͋̃̍͊̄͛̎̊͒̃̓̿̌̏̚̕͝͝ͅ ̷̻̠̭̼̥̻̊̋̾͗͒͆͌ERS ̷̻̠̭̼̥̻̊̋̾͗͒͆͌NE̍͌̏N̴̨̨̯̹͙̺̫̲̤̺̣̫̣̩̩̬̝̼̭̱̮̯̤̫͈͇̎̀͆N̴̨̨̯̹͙̺̫̲̤̺̣̫̣̩̩̬̝̼̭̱̮̯̤̫͈͇̎̀͆ER͆̌̈ ̻͖͇O̵̧̢͔̖̲̥̫̻͙̜̻̠̪͙̩͇̩̙̱̞̻̲̾͛̍͌̆͊͑͋͒̀̈ents͋̉̈̅̈ ̵͍̬̘̻͍͚͙͚̺̜͎̫̲̤̺̼͈̰̭̫̠̠̪͖̻̗̭͈̊̾͑͆̐̃̓͋̄̿̓̿̈ageř͂͛̈ ̵͍̬̘̻͍͚͙͚̺̜͎̫̲̤̺̼͈̰̭̫̠̠̪͖̻̗̭͈̊̾͑͆̐̃̓͋̄̿̓̿̈eS ̀̈eh̵̵̪̮͎̬̙̺̲̘̦͍͍̳͇̝̭̣͔̼͕͎̫̥̹̻̪̮͎̬̙̺̲̘̦͍͍̳͇̝̭̣͔̼͕͎̫̥̹̻̋͆͐͂̍̓̀̋͆͐͂̍̓̀̅̂̓̒̒̕͘ ̴̢̨̢̼̟̜̦̯͈̦̬̮͖͉̈ attacks ̙̫̺͔̟̫̻͚͍̋̄̓͒͐̆̋͊͌t̴̛͖̲͎̪̳̠͉̬̱̲̙̞̮̳̙̄̓̈́̊̔̒͂̏̓̈́͑̓̌͒̔t̴̛͖̲͎̪̳̠͉̬̱̲̙̞̮̳̙̄̓̈́̊̔̒͂̏̓̈́͑̓̌͒̔ ̵̢̢̨̛͍̣̺̞̮̳͖͍̳̤͈͚͔̪̣̋̓̈́͐̋̆͌̈́̈̈́̋͆̀͛̅̈̃̍̿́̕͠ ̵̢̢̨̛͍̣̺̞̮̳͖͍̳̤͈͚͔̪̣̋̓̈́͐̋̆͌̈́̈̈́̋͆̀͛̅̈̃̍̿́̕͠O̶̢̨̡̨̲̫̹̤̭̻̐̾̄̑͠ͅH̸̢̛͙̲̭̲͊̐̈́̃͌̐̓͗́͑́̀͛̀̅̆̕̚͝d̷̬̻̤̫̯͂̽͆̌̎̚ͅd̷̬̻̤̫̯͂̽͆̌̎̚ͅ ̸̢̯̺̩̞͎͎̳̝̯̱̰̦̄͛Ō͆̈́̐͒̾̿̅̅̉̔͐̎̚͘̚͠H̶̡̨̧̢̛̩̻̤̤̦̺̘͇͕̱̯͓̠̞͓̯͚͈̜̘̘͂̉T̴̛͖̲͎̪̳̠͉̬̱̲̙̞̮̳̙̄̓̈́̊̔̒͂̏̓̈́͑̓̌͒̔T̴̛͖̲͎̪̳̠͉̬̱̲̙̞̮̳̙̄̓̈́̊̔̒͂̏̓̈́͑̓̌͒̔ ̵̢̢̨̛͍̣̺̞̮̳͖͍̳̤͈͚͔̪̣̋̓̈́͐̋̆͌̈́̈̈́̋͆̀͛̅̈̃̍̿́̕͠N̴̢̨̧̧̠̝͓̼͙̮̲͔̝̯̪͕͛̾̓̓O̶̡͚̦̓̋͗̾̌́̀̐̈́͆̈́̍̌̃̒̍̊̈́̅͒̈̎̂̆̂̍̕̕͠͠ ̢̡̱̮͈̣̦͔̠̣͕̪̣̭͉̞͔̻͍̣͖͉͍͜͜ͅ ̴̴̡̢̢̢̡̢̢̢̪̭͔̺̜̱̜̜̣̟͚̻̝̙̮̥͍̟̖͙͈͓̞̰̪̭͔̺̜̱̜̜̣̟͚̻̝̙̮̥͍̟̖͙͈͓̞̰͐̾̑̉̉̓̊́̉͗͛͒̽͑͐̾̑̉̉̓̊́̉͗͛͒̽͑p̴̦̘̘̮̱̥̹̳͙͕̐̈́̂̔́̀̃̿̄̽̑͂l̸̸̡̡̖̤̗̘͈̣̥̰̘̰̬̖̤̗̘͈̣̥̰̘̰̬͗̈́̿͗̈́̿͋̓̅͛̊̀̈́̍̀̀̔̌̿̐e̸̖͔̮͔̐̿̅̔͊̽͌͝å̸̡̢̛͈͕̲̘͉̗̘̪̫̼̬̭͇̥̱̣̹̟̥̠͎͇͈̣͉̟͑̐̽͊͂̂̎̀̍́̈́͗̕͠s̸̪̯̻̩̣̪͕͌͊̈̍͌̃̓̈́͌̎͂͂͘̚e̷͊̎̅͆̂̂̎̎̏̄͌͆̔̍̊͛͒̌̋̉̀̈́͜͠͠ ̵̝̯̪̺̈̿͒̏͌͒̎̍̌̄̒̃̉̋̊̉͂̌͘͝s̸̳͓͈̺̥͈̘̹͒̿̆̅̈́̿ ̸̳͓͈̺̥͈̘̹͒̿̆̅̈́̿p̶̧̢̢̨̧̙͇̮̠͇̥̗̬̝͕͔͎̰͈̻̤͕̭̮͎̼̰̪̯̠̏̅̒͐͂̍͛̿̉̾̌̃̌̉̚̚͝ͅa̶̟͉̺̠͖̟̥̩͉̺̳̦͇̲̼̹͙̟̾̈̓̐͂̆̏͜r̴̡̛̳͙̮̖̳̘̘̯͙̪͚͇͖̹̰̺̰͎̞̥̐͊̾̂̊̐̈̌̉̐͑̂̊̕ȩ̶̛̪̳̫̯͑̏́̋͋͑̍̐͒̆͒͜͝͝ ̵̛̛͍̐̒ ̓̃͗ Why͛̏̄͗̀̃̏͠͠M̸̡̡̛̼͖̬̯̟͉̘̜̮̜͍̺̳̰̬̬̱̺̩̰͙͙̗̯̤̣̦̙̂͂̑̃̄̐ents̔̀̂̌͆̋͘͘͝ͅȩ̵̯͙̋̍͑̌̓̚ ̷̢͎͙̌͌͊̑d̉̽̾͆̆͐̆͐̉͘͘̕̕͠͝ģ̷̡̛͍̱͙͇̣̣͈̖̭̯̞̬͙͎̫̜͎̬̼͚͇̮̮̲ents͛̀͋̈̒̽͆̒̉̅͘͠͠͝ͅǫ̷̢̡̡͖̮̮̫̙͖̰̼͇͖̮̟̟̠̩̝̜̝̘̺̞̭͉̅̓̐ER͜͝͝ͅŗ̶̛̞̲̟͔͕̖̝̻̮̺̰̹͖̩̹͎̀͌͌̽͑̋̆̋̊̈ER̀̍̈ERS͒̀̈͐̀͐͛̀͑̀̿͒̍̈D̴̢̢̮͖̗̙̰̭̠͍͙͈̭̓̔̐͋̒͛͐̅ERS̒̑ ̸̢̢̤̠̻̮̉͜ṕ̶̢̨ Feb̡̤̻̫̙̗̯̗̫̮̩̬̱͈̦͇̩͓̠̳͇̭͇͇̼̱̪̪ents͑͒̀̔a̶ways̡̢͍̹͕̝̰̰͇̪͂S̴̡̡͕̣̰̯͎̫͙͓̊̽̽͑̾S̴̡̡͕̣̰̯͎̫͙͓̊̽̽͑̾S̴̡̡͕̣̰̯͎̫͙͓̊̽̽͑̾S̡̢͍̹͕̝̰̰͇̪͂SS ̡̢͍̹͕̝̰̰͇̪͂P̵̵̨̢̨̢̥̪̼̤̪̳̮̱͈̗̠̦̫͇̫̙͕̟̞͔̟̩̳̗̺̳̟̝̬̥̪̼̤̪̳̮̱͈̗̠̦̫͇̫̙͕̟̞͔̟̩̳̗̺̳̟̝̬̐͋͒̔̎ERS̈̃ER͑͌̂̈͑͊̐͋͒̔̎ER̈̃R̸̡̢̛̛͓̲̭̞̞̖͖̘͙̥̞̳̜̘͇̟̰̾̓̄̀͌͗͐͐̆̈ER͂͋̔̿̿̓̄͋̍͝͝͠ę̵̢ERS̄͋̍͝͝͠ę̵̢ERS̀̈̂ER̀̈̂ER̋̐̈ ̷mb̖̹̻̪̫̊M̴̴̢̢̤͖̟̙̞̦͔̺̣̣̖͙̫̠̜͖̤̮̞͕̬̜͉͖̮̟͖̤͖̟̙̞̦͔̺̣̣̖͙̫̠̜͖̤̮̞͕̬̜͉͖̮̟͖̿͌͗͒̿̆̿͌͗͒̿̆E̷̳̫̳̦̙͔̰̰̹͌͛͒̀̐̔̀͑͂̕E̷̳̫̳̦̙͔̰̰̹͌͛͒̀̐̔̀͑͂̕E̷̳̫̳̦̙͔̰̰̹͌͛͒̀̐̔̀͑͂̕E̷̳̫̳̦̙͔̰̰̹͌͛͒̀̐̔̀͑͂̕E

Gord is a great addition. Everyone should have a Gord. Gord is my best friend. Gord is the best Pokemon. If everyone has a Gord, then everyone will have a Gord. Isn’t it just beautiful? I love you Gordon. Pre-order Pokémon Scarlet and Violet for Gord bonus. Thanks Gord.


Pokémon Scarlet and Violet will be released on November 18, 2022 on Nintendo Switch.

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